


Little Bird

by tinsnip



Series: caged birds [1]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: M/M, Songfic, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-02
Updated: 2013-02-02
Packaged: 2017-11-27 22:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/667014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinsnip/pseuds/tinsnip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vignette. Julian Bashir knows nobody trusts him, and that he doesn't deserve to be trusted. Only one person makes him feel as if there might be hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Little Bird

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer the first - I do not own these characters. Paramount does. I thank them for telling us their story.  
> Disclaimer the second - I do not own this song. The Weepies do. If you like this fic, please consider purchasing the mp3.

_little bird, little bird, brush your grey wings on my head_  
 _say what you said, say it again_  
 _they tell me i'm crazy_  
 _but you told me i'm golden_  
 _\--the weepies, "little bird"_

 

Nobody else understands it. He knows that.

He's heard the rumours. They've come back to him second-hand, by whispers overheard in Quark's, by Jadzia's amused looks and Kira's wrinkled brow, by Miles's pursed lips and Sisko's frown. They're confused, maybe a bit worried for him. They want to protect him from himself, the eager young officer, running headlong into trouble. He might get in over his head, tarnish his reputation. Surely he can't be trusted to make his own decision in this matter.

 _What is he doing?_ they ask. _Is he crazy? Does he understand the consequences?_

They trust him as a physician, but in all other things, they smile fondly at him, pat him on the head, nod indulgently, and disregard everything he says. _So young,_ they say, laughing, and they aren't wrong. He's naive, he knows it, and trusting himself is so hard. There's so much to learn, and he wants to know it all, all at once. Every time he realizes he's made a mistake, he feels as if he's betraying not only himself, but everyone else who's counting on him. He's hard on himself. He always has been.

But there is one person who seems to understand, one person who wants to help, to teach. Julian doesn't understand his motives. Hell, he doesn't understand anything about him. His eyes are dark, his smile crooked, his secrets well-hidden. Julian is drawn to him, drinks him in, wants to please him, to earn his praise.

In his solitary moments, he wonders whether he's fallen under some kind of dark influence. The pull he feels to the older man is like nothing he's ever felt before - strong, constant, underlying everything he does. He can't escape it. More worryingly, he doesn't want to. _Am I in control, here? Will I lose myself?_

But he goes back, night after night, and here in the dark he does his best to please. He gives himself completely, and in return receives everything his lover has to offer. They move together, gasping, and this is the one place where Julian feels as if he makes no mistakes, as if everything he does is right, is desperately wanted.

Afterwards, in the quiet, Julian breathes into his lover's ear.

"Garak. Say it again."

"Oh, my dear boy... You are perfect. You are golden."

A gentle grey hand brushes Julian's dark hair back from his forehead, and he leans into it, needing it, finding forgiveness for his flaws, a hope for absolution.

Nobody else understands it. Nobody else has to.


End file.
